Ode to an English Degree

There are certain things that have one thing in common:

Drains where the water is down to its last dregs

Darts in a dartboard when you pull them from the pegs

That feeling you get when the book you want in the bookstore is gone

The one when you realize that last question you answered was wrong

And also, by the way, suction cups

The thing is, they suck


Oh, English major, I fear that you've done nothing for me

Because every career I'd want to have requires a different degee

I seem to remember paying my fee

(After thirty-two thousand a year, I better, or so I believe)

Now, I finally see-- you're out to steal every bit of my money

And make sure I come back through your doors

Because to do anything worthwhile, I'll need four years more


There are certain things in this world I think are true:

The sky is blue, and children scream a lot

The grass is green and honesty lies somewhat

Pennies tend to accumulate but never enough to pay the rent

The chance of rain on picnic day is 100%

And oh, I have to say, English degree: it's bad

Graduate and no jobs, so sad